Ding dong jingle bells and deck the halls with fa la fucking la. It IS the season to make a memory. 

And no matter how hard the US wants us to say Happy Holidays...the GS spirit compels you to rejoice in Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. So Merrrrrrrry Christmas! Let's celebrate. 

Which leads us neatly onto the office Christmas party and more specifically of what to wear. 

It's an occasion rife with dilemmas...go too formal and you'll look like the work experience boy on his first day. Go too casual and you'll look like the boss's son who's swung by for his weekly allowance. 

The office Christmas party attire requires tact. 

Let's slide into this like a CrossFit Father Christmas down a chimney. 



Take a look around your office and see what your colleagues wear on a day-to-day basis. Sure there will be some anomalies...Andy in accounts thinks he's Gareth Southgate, complete with chewing gum, waistcoat and pacing with hands on hips. And Dave in marketing is channeling his inner goth with a black velvet blazer and burgundy cravat. 

However, on average, there will be an overall vibe that workers adhere to. Whatever the office style is, go for a slightly more refined version of that. You'll stand out not for making too much of an effort but for making the right amount. 



Forgetting what your office dress code is, the venue of the party will ultimately set what you wear. Down the pub after work for a few pints requires minimal effort. Switch your standard crew-neck sweater for a more festive jumper adorned with a cheesy reindeer snow scene. Even the simple addition of a cable-knit wool scarf would do the trick

For those at millennial startups heading for a laid-back lunch then choose elegant over festive. Throw on a Harris tweed jacket over your striped grandad shirt or pop on a merino wool cardigan. 

When it comes to a formal black-tie affair then you need to make a genuine effort. Never borrow or rent a tux. They rarely fit well and should always be tailored. Never go for a white tux unless you want to be taking drinks requests all night. And for God's sake wear a real bowtie. People can tell if it's fake. 


If there is any hint of the party being themed and thus fancy dress, tread softly. Either stay away completely from the forced fun or dress normally. Fancy dress adds pressure to your outfit choice in the form of creativity and uniqueness. 

It's also a politically correct minefield. The incident may have happened more than ten years ago, but Prince Harry donning the Nazi symbol springs to mind.

You'll be so nervous being judged for your choice of costume you'll inhale booze. And there's nothing worse than being photographed by a sneaky colleague, especially when you're dressed as Pop Eye passed out on the reception sofa..tobacco pipe sticking out your arse. 

Whatever happens, remember it is the season to be jolly. As long as you're wearing a smile to the party then you can get away with most fashion errors. Walk around the party with a grin on your face. Grin constantly. 

December 12, 2019 — Simon Smith