BY THE BULLET-PROOFBEAR
Hello again. Jolly glad you could join us. We’ve mentioned before in our THE 4 WORST EVER MEN'S SHOE TRENDS blog that we’re a club. Never forget that. If you don a pair of Goodwin Smiths then you’re a member. And membership includes all sorts of advice…mainly fashion related. If you need STI guidance, contact your nearest GUM clinic.
This week we run down the three fashion trends to avoid at all costs.
1. Boiler Suits
A go-to item for fans of the unisex, demilitarized zone look. However, for everyone else it’s hard to know if androgyny is your thing or you’re just really into plumbing. Granted, boiler suits may be comfortable but you’ll walk around looking like an extra on a porno. “Hi are you the plumber?” “Yes and I’m here to fix your pipes.” Tend to your wardrobe first.
The Alternative: Double Denim
2. Bright Orange
Tony the Tiger, Garfield and a fucking oompa loompa; that’s what springs to mind when someone dons an all orange get up. Not that’s there anything wrong with singing riddles running around a giant indoor chocolate garden…Cadbury’s World stag-do. Good times, good times. If you are dying to wear all orange, then move to Holland and get into football. Doelpunt!
The Alternative: Darker Shades
3. Drop Crotch Jeans/Trousers
There’s not much to say about this that can’t be summed up by: ‘Cause if you like the way you look that much, ohhh baby you should go and love yourself.’ The immortal words of drop crotch jeans lover Justin Bieber there. It’s not that I’m having a go at J-Beebs, it’s just hard to take anyone seriously who looks like they could soil themselves at any moment. Here’s proof.